Controversial Conversations

I was at a networking event and met a potential new client who was very interested in our services. However, they asked for my personal opinion on a controversial topic and I was not sure how to respond in a professional manner. How can I handle these types of situations in the future?

In this accelerating age of shifting opinions and beliefs, everyday scandals and political what not's, it can sometimes feel like any opinion is a controversial one to somebody. However, it's always important to maintain a professional demeanour and avoid controversial topics during business interactions.

Our objectives are to grow our connections, generate ideas, nurture opportunities and contribute to our network.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is how does this influence those objectives and how can you steer the conversation in the direction you would like it to go in? If it's just not likely to go well, make a courteous and smooth exit.

In situations like these I sometimes utilise a 'booze meter' and make an internal note of how inebriated the person in front of me is. Loosened collar, flushed cheeks, fast talking, slurring, stumbling, emotional, raised voice. You may be familiar with these traits.

A few drinks can be fun for some, but if your opinionated interrogator is feeling too boisterous or offendable then there is potential for discomfort. Could be best to make a polite retreat and seek to meet them on a better day - or not, depending on your opinion :)

If things aren't quite that dramatic then I often go for the tightrope of ambiguity: "It's a fascinating subject. Opinions certainly run high on both sides, don't they?"

When I encounter someone who continues to press the subject, I often get an image in my mind of an old episode of Friends. It's called 'The One with the Cop" and there is a scene where one of the key characters, Ross and his friend are carrying a large couch on some stairs. As they reach the corner, Ross starts repeatedly exclaiming: "Pivot! Pivot!"

It's like an alarm bell telling me to pivot. Change the subject:

"Speaking of (controversial topic), it reminds me of this related (non-controversial topic) I read about recently. It's amazing, let me tell you about it. " And then I launch into a topic I am more comfortable speaking about and more relevant to my objectives.

If they're not letting up, try turning the tables: "It's an incredibly complex issue. How do you perceive it?"

Or just tell them you don't want to play:

"Look, I'm going to be straight with you. I've found that this topic can be polarizing and I really don't have anything to contribute. I do like (interesting, appropriate topic) Have you...? (ask a question leading the conversation in a completely different and new direction"

When it comes to controversial topics when networking with or meeting new people, its important to remember that from a professional standpoint part of your role is probably to act as an impartial advisor and someone who withholds opinions and information for reasons of confidentiality.

You can lean into this and develop the skill of being pleasantly and politely non committal.

The aim is to encourage positive relationships and ideas.

Keep your objectives in mind, answer controversial questions with tact and diplomacy and consider the sensitivities and opinions of others around you.

Bon chance!